Do it When you want to underline how important is active listening.
Here is a story concerning how important is active listening. William Gladstone and Benjamin Disraeli, both eminent British statesmen were considered as two the smartest persons in England, in the late nineteenth century. A young journalist said that she would dine with both so she could decide which one was smarter. She has compared the two men this way: “When I dined with Mr. Gladstone, I felt as though he was the smartest man in England. But when I dined with Mr. Disraeli, I felt as though I was the smartest woman in England.”
active listening decko

The point being made is that Gladstone spoke but Disraeli was a good listener to the woman. That evening Disraeli made the woman the center of his universe. If you practice attentiveness to others, you’ll find it does wonders.
They will enjoy it, and so will you. You will accomplish much more.
Elements of active listening skills are:

  • Maintaining eye contact
  • Nodding
  • Be focused to hear
  • Questioning
  • “Listen” to the speaker’s body language
  • Paraphrasing
  • Summarizing
  • Empathy feedback
  • Not interrupting
  • Not finishing his/her sentences
  • Clarifying

Questions for you:
1. What also is important for active listening?
2. What can we do to improve our listening skills?
3. What is the best way to practice active listening?

4 Comments on Idea #14 How to listen like Benjamin Disraeli?

4 Replies to “Idea #14 How to listen like Benjamin Disraeli?”

  1. Skills Associated with Empathy with EXPLANATION:
    1. Attending, acknowledging
    Providing verbal or non-verbal awareness of the other, ie, eye contact

    2. Restating, paraphrasing
    Responding to person’s basic verbal message

    3. Reflecting
    Reflectiexperiences, or content ng feelings, that has been heard or perceived through cues

    4. Interpreting
    Offering a tentative interpretation about the other’s feelings, desires, or meanings

    5. Summarizing, synthesizing
    Bringing together in some way feelings and experiences; providing a focus

    6. Probing
    Questioning in a supportive way that requests more information or that attempts to clear up confusions

    7. Giving feedback
    Sharing perceptions of the other’s ideas or feelings; disclosing relevant personal information

    8. Supporting
    Showing warmth and caring in one’s own individual way

    9. Checking perceptions
    Finding out if interpretations and perceptions are valid and accurate

    10. Being quiet
    Giving the other time to think as well as to talk

    SOURCE: Pickering, Marisue, “Communication” in EXPLORATIONS, A Journal of Research of the University of Maine, Vol. 3, No. 1, Fall 1986, pp 16-19.

  2. A University of Maine researcher, Dr. Marisue Pickering, identifies four characteristics of empathetic listeners:

    l. Desire to be other-directed, rather than to project one’s own feelings and ideas onto the other.
    2. Desire to be non-defensive, rather than to protect the self. When the self is being protected, it is difficult to focus on another person.
    3. Desire to imagine the roles, perspectives, or experiences of the other, rather than assuming they are the same as one’s own.
    4. Desire to listen as a receiver, not as a critic, and desire to understand the other person rather than to achieve either agreement from or change in that person.

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